Loners Without Bodies's topics - tribe.net

Finding Friends.

2008-08-17T23:59:03Z

Hello,

Just joined this tribe. I am always searching for a close female friend. I have had a few good close friends in the past but for one reason or another we have gone our separate ways.

I have come to realize I am looking for some one like me. Thoughtful, likes to be alone, intelligent, likes to philosophize and theorize. Someone who doesn't mind me canceling at the last minute or who is not a big let's do lunch or coffee person.

On one hand I think that is small minded. I think if I surround myself with people who are just like me I am limiting my experience. On the other hand I have not met many people who are not like me who I want to be around.

Many people think they know me. I am a cheerful, spirited person but I am the most happiest in my own company (with my 2 cats). It only took me almost my whole life to figure this out and to embrace it.

My previous therapists would tell me I wanted to be married, or I wanted to have someone in my life and analyzing why I don't want to go to social gatherings with my family. I realize now it is not so much the family but the very act of going out, having dinner, desert, etc. and being chit chatty about whatever.

I think I do rather well if I stay 1-2 hours (anywhere). I think the longest I stayed at some gathering or other was 3 hours.

I love this quote and often think about it when I am coming home to my sanctuary:

“I feel the same way about solitude as some people feel about the blessing of the church. It’s the light of grace for me. I never close my door behind me without the awareness that I am carrying out an act of mercy toward myself.” —Peter Hoeg

So many people do not understand me, but so what, I understand me.

Anyone else out there have similar experiences?

Nancy.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 7 replies

A definate loner here

2008-07-11T02:33:19Z

Well what can I say I have strong loner tendencies I have for most of my life, I have had barely any friends none that were close for sure. I prefer doing my own thing and I really am a proper hermit I hardly socialize with others and because of this fact I have hardly dated either, I am a straight guy but I never feel a need for closeness or intimacy. Don't get me wrong I would like sex at times, but it is not enough for me to want a girlfriend. Also because of my solitary personality I cannot see myself marrying or having kids either because I prefer the single lifestyle. I know society claims that being a couple is the greatest thing ever but It is not for me.

I am sure some people could relate.

It is really weird and I do not expect many to truly understand, but I really do feel happy by myself, in fact I am often bored being with people I think I lack empathy because I do not care for others personal lives, or their worries, goals in life etc.

Thats it really.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 6 replies

LONERS SEARCHING FOR OTHER LONERS-PARADOX?

2008-07-08T00:00:37Z

I'M A NEW MEMBER AND SEE THIS SITE AS A PARADOX-YET HERE I AM. i HAVE BROKEN THE HARDWIRED PROGRAMMING OF OUR GENETICS BY BEING A LONER. BUT, BY BEING HERE I AKNOWLEDGE THE STRONG PULL EMBEDDED IN MY DNA THAT DICTATES SOCIALIBILITY AND SURVIVAL ARE INEXTRICABLY LINKED. PART OF MY PARTICIPATION IS TO KNOW HOW OTHERS COPE, PART MAY BE THE NEED TO KNOW THAT OTHERS LIKE ME SURVIVE AND THRIVE.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 5 replies

Hello, I'm new here. I'm not sure if people still post regularly here or not. (Does this catch anyone's attention? Is it clear and simple like the instructions say?)

2008-06-16T06:08:40Z

I was just browsing around, and I came across this site and it's very comforting to know that there are plenty of people out there who are just like me, a loner. I have always felt more confident and comfortable by myself, as compared to being around other people. I also need to be alone after spending all day at work with people to re-energize myself. By the end of the work day, I just feel drained and exhausted. But not a lot of people seem to be able to understand that. I have more fun alone, I can keep myself entertained and amused for hours. I tend to find it hard to relate to people who CONSTANTLY need other people, and god forbid they should be alone for more than five minutes. I just want to be able to know that there's nothing wrong with me. I don't have any homicidal tendencies, and it really upsets me whenever the media brings up the fact that so and so was a loner, because then it seems like all loners are crazy. I'm only crazy in the good, upbeat, always willing to do anything for a good laugh kind of a way! :) So to the person who started this site/board, thanks. It really helps to know that there are others like me.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 2 replies

Slowness

2008-06-11T16:29:05Z

Why's the board slow? Just wondering.

BlackLoner

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 4 replies

Ever had to jump into the social blender for the greater good?

2008-06-07T05:41:29Z

And found it so Profoundly Against Your Nature that you couldn't enjoy the results?

The 47 unit mobile home park I own my little dwelling in was one day away from being seized by the town for back taxes and was bid on by a developer. We had to save our homes, so we formed a nonprofit housing cooperative, matched the developer's offer in accordance with Massachusetts law, got financing and bought the park ourselves instead. We are rehabilitating it after decades of very serious mismanagement, and we have far to go, because basically the entire infrastructure has to be rebuilt over a few short years. I was and am one of the key people pulling off this acquisition and easing us into resident ownership. I am also a very extreme Introvert.

There are meetings, meetings, meetings, sometimes four a week between the Board, the membership, and various committees. There are fires to put out. There is the newsletter I edit. There is a deliberately uninformed minority who resent us for saving their shabby little homes and think we interfered with their getting a big bundle of money to leave them. There are the inevitable imperfectly coordinated bylaws and rules that already are revealing where they need to be fine-tuned, and the inevitable infighting that effort leads to. There is backbiting. And there is at least one Toxic Person who has made it onto the Board. My free time now is all sucked away by the needs of the Cooperative. I worked to save it, but now I hate it here.

Frodo couldn't stay in the Shire either.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 1 reply

loners who die alone.

2008-06-02T11:26:24Z

Every year 12,000 people in the UK die alone and their bodies are not found for some time later. My brother was a loner and when he died his body was not discovered for 2 months, is being a loner such a good thing?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 8 replies

Family fun......

2008-05-30T22:17:35Z

I was just wondering if any of you self professed Loners get along with your families?
Mine has always called me weird. I am not like anyone in my family. I was the only girl raised with four boys. This may have started my Lone tendencies but I often wonder if I had had sisters would we have even gotten along.
My sense of humor is different, my open mindedness is way different and my non drive to do anything social at all is just downright strange.
Please share your opinions, truths, and whatever thoughts come to mind.
Thank you.

PS: I'm glad you guys are out there also.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 9 replies

Hello

2008-05-23T10:09:33Z

My name's John and I'm a loner. Ever since I was little I've always preferred to be alone. I have several really close friends whom I've been friends with for years. I've always thought it was better to have a few close friends than a bunch of "Fake Friends". I write lyrics, poems, short stories and am very creative. That's how I spend most of my time. My best friend is a loner as well. Accept for the few friends he has, he has no interest in meeting new people, much like myself.

I've been in several relationships, two of them being serious. Both times, I ended up getting my heart broken. That kinda lead to internal conflict. At times I think I would like to be in a relationship, but on the other hand I really enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. That, and I still really love my ex, and miss the memories. I feel like I would rather stay single and reflect back on all the wonderful memories than move on. Has anyone else here ever felt like that?

I'm glad I found this place. I hate how loners are looked down upon, deemed psycho, and such. People probably think I'm stuck up, suicidal, etc, but the simple truth is that I have no real interest in meeting new people. I'm perfectly happy with my life the way it is. Perfectly happy with being alone most of the time, and with family and my close friends some of the time. Some call it a mental disorder, but I call it a life choice. I don't see what's so hard for people to understand

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 1 reply

DOES ANYONE EVER FEEL LIKE THEY ARE MEANT TO BE ALONE?

2008-05-23T10:04:39Z

I THINK SOME PEOPLE ARE PUT ONTO THIS EARTH TO BE ALONE. I WONDER IF I AM ONE OF THEM. IT' S HARD TO SAY FOR SURE. I GET OVERWHELMING FEELINGS SOMETIMES THAT I JUST DON'T BELONG HERE. BUT I PUSH ON DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN. MY RELATIONSHIPS SUFFER BECAUSE OF THIS. I ALMOST FEEL LIKE I COULD BE IN A CROWD OF A THOUSAND PEOPLE AND STILL BE ALONE. IT'S NOT REALLY A BAD FEELING THOUGH. IT'S LIKE THERE IS JUST THIS SIDE OF ME THAT IS FOREVER RESERVED JUST FOR ME(AND GOD, WHOM EVER THAT MAY BE) I GUESS I'M A LONER WITH A PURPOSE. TO BE ALONE, AND WONDER. I HAVE THESE BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS MAN. I MEAN JUST ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL MAN. AMAZING THINGS THAT SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN. IT'S LIKE A GIFT. PLEASE RESPOND

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 12 replies

Why do people feel threatened by loners?

2008-05-23T07:53:39Z

What, do you think, makes loners so threatening and/or odd to non-loners?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 24 replies

At my best alone

2008-04-02T17:29:52Z

I don't know if anyone else here has experienced what I mean when I say that I can forget how wonderful it can be to be alone if I'm around others for a lot of the time... I bet someone can identify though. Right now, I'm living in a homeless shelter with about 250 other guys in it, and it is always very crowded there. I try to get away from my roomate there, so I go outside, and frequently I'll socialize with people on the smoke-deck. When I get away from everybody though (say to go and get money from an automatic teller, or to get a book from the library) I often come to be at a great peace with life, and become ACUTELY aware of how much happier I can be alone. (Please don't think that this is just because the people at the shelter are not great company... Most of the guys there work, and are actually fairly intelligent... Don't get me wrong, I even "enjoy" talking with them sometimes. However, when I get to be alone, I often feel happier). I also, after getting away from people, almost always hate either the person I was when I was in their presence or else the way that I was not very sincere or soulful around them..,. not sure which of those it is. I can get really chipper around others, and I wonder how much of that is "the real me", because I feel so much more "myself" when I'm alone. I don't think, however, that I TRY to put on a face for others, although I will admit that I am very careful, at least, about not stepping on peoples toes (you know, upsetting them). Can anyone identify with either/both forgetting how great it can be to be alone when they are around others for a LOT of time, or feeling that they somehow aren't completely "themselves" around others, even if this is just because your a nice person whose considerate of others feelings? I don't know, for myself, WHY I feel like I am not completely myself around others, but that may be a part of it for me.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 1 reply

Suggest a Career plan for Loners - Hence "Me"

2008-03-07T00:54:14Z

Hey There,

I just joined in this tribe............

Since my childhood, I have been a Loner, Not much a player and not much a friend. Now at this age I have realized I have a problem with trusting people big time. Hence I have lost all the friends, the only few I had.

I have been working for 7 years now and I realize my growth has stopped, People just use me and my potential and when the time comes they just kick me out.

I am looking forward for help on this. I find it a big trouble as far as people are concerned and planning to start something of my own.

Please suggest what could be the best for me and my kind of people, Because regardless of all the facts, We need to live and not survive and for that we need to have monetary and emotional satisfaction.

Warm Regards,
Victor

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 0 replies

this looks more like it...

2008-01-30T14:55:46Z

I only have a crawl space and a trowel...will that work? Oh, and I checked my Uzi at the door. Or maybe I left it at the post office. I suppose I might best describe myself as a sort of socially functional loner. Never have had many friends throughout my life. At present, I think I can count all of them on one hand, or maybe less. I can deal with people, but sure relish coming home to the cats and the wood stove and my little cabin.
I think I have more in common with a coffee cup than most people I run into. And at this point I am enjoying the clarity of age, seeing the patterns in life, people, and events from a vantage point that is ..oh...over THERE somewhere. I write a bit, generally caustic observations of daily life in this little valley. Place reminds me of a less warped version of Twin Peaks-lots of material here.
Enough rambling from me. Go enjoy the stillness. I am going to watch the night sky fade away now and greet the morning-quietly.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 0 replies

Hello, fellow loners!

2008-01-25T02:19:34Z

I'm so thrilled to have stumbled upon this tribe that I just had to say something. Like, where has this tribe been all my life? The tribe's description says it perfectly:

"Are you a loner? Do you simply dig alone time - not shallow graves in the basement? Are you, unlike society's expectations, not planning a homicidal rampage any time soon?"

yes, that's exactly it.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 7 replies

No new threads lately, so.....

2008-01-25T02:08:31Z

Mainly I'm just saying hi. I'm new. I've been in and out of lonerism all my life, and I'm getting back in the mood.

People are so often disappointing and/or boring and/or too limiting to freedom... solitude can be so beautiful. So quiet. So full of every possibility. To eat when you're hungry, and sleep when you're tired, to read or watch (TV) whatever interests YOU at the moment, with no one to think they have the right to object or interfere... things staying where you put them, no mess to clean up but your own... the phone rarely ringing... ahh, take me back please!

I live alone, except for my 2 cats, which are a lot more fun than any human I know.

And I am totally non-violent, a good, quiet, clean neighbor who will help you if asked, and a good honest customer of local businesses--someone who opens doors for people who have their hands full and picks up things older people have dropped. I even do volunteer work sometimes, although usually not the kind that involves trying to get people to do something, or working with children.

--Anne

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 0 replies

A poem I wrote on Silence

2008-01-19T12:16:13Z

The sound of the music

The song of the world

The beat of the holy

The rhythm of the earth

Silent jingles, silent tunes

Quiet voices, gentle hymns

The skipping sound goes on and on

As it is born within us all

In silence, we immerse

In silence, we sing our verse

In tribute to the voice of the goddess

In duly, we hum the beauty and stillness

Serene mantras, tranquil chants

The pulse of our breath

The tempo of our heart

In a still beat and enchanting tune

We sing the transcending melody

And beat the drums of harmony

Even the tinkle could be heard

From a place of deep within

Pass the hearts and through the skin

From a place of far, far away

The chorus seem to continuously stay

A song of joy is what we need

A soothing tune, a peaceful rune

Silence is all we ever need

Indeed, it is all we ever need

The sound of the music

The song of the world

The beat of the holy

The rhythm of the earth

The calm ocean of the ears

Is a place of deep still darkness

A state which is above all

Where the light shines through it all

The soundless composer is the key

The calm and cool is all we see

We must be the placid sea

To be still and hear the wind

Intense and mysterious

Is the voice of silence

Sadly, it often goes untold

Although it is much older than gold

The beauty and the profound

Is the arrow of the sacred one

The creator, the originator

Of the serene musician and divine actor

Come on now, bind as one

This is a call, for all of us

As striking heavenly composers

Come and see the mesmerizing silence

Come on now, come scrap off the violence

To be closer and sooner

With the undying tune of silence

The undying tune of silence

~EG~

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 3 replies

I am a Loner

2008-01-13T12:31:07Z

Ive been a loner since the age of 18 life is very difficult without supportive friends to help you and to enjoy life with. I have been struggling with depression and have tried suicide. I quit my job after I was hassled there and then I was unfairly treated by my boss, so am now unemployed.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 1 reply

New Member

2007-08-28T04:09:20Z

Hi everyone. I too am a loner and have read some topics and sympathize. I much prefer being alone, watching TV and eating alone, doing what I want to do alone... I'm not socially inept, but the time alone is oh, so sweet... though no one I know gets it either, I get it and that's all that matters to me :D

So just saying hi

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 6 replies

interactive art project on my tribe page

2007-04-30T11:10:57Z

I am creating an art project on my tribe page
in all my spare time
its an interactive art project
where I make an piece of art and then post a question
and the comments inspire the next piece of art and question

comments greatly inspire the projects direction
so please hop on over to my tribe page
and see if this art project would help entertain you a bit

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 0 replies

quick question for my new clan

2007-04-27T12:56:02Z

I've posted this on a couple boards earlier today (and by that, I mean quickly and rather hastily in between two meetings and lunch with the VP) and haven't gotten a response.

Does anybody here know what the name of the movie was with a high school (maybe college??) where a kid tried every which way to get on the football team? The characters last name was "Bly"? The team captain finally called a play for him and one of the most memorable quotes from the movie (and probably from any sports movie) came next when the coach (forgot the actor's name, it's either James Caan or Jim Varney...) screamed out pleading, "Don't pass it to Bly!!!!!!!"

The kid then proceeds to seemingly catch the ball...but then fumbles it, losing the game.

...Somebody's got to know what I'm talking about

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 4 replies

stuck in the office

2007-03-29T18:10:51Z

I am stuck working in hte office. I usually do not work there. There are people everywhere all hte time.

AARGGHHH!!!

I am going crazy.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 1 reply

New here.

2007-03-29T17:26:38Z

Hi.

I didn't really realize that it was okay to be a loner till I read Party of One by Anneli Rufus. Since then I've been looking for other topics regarding, for lack of a better term, "Lonerism." It is that search that brought me here. First, to lurk and now to join so that maybe I can join in some of the conversation here.

Best to all....

Invisibill

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 6 replies

Problem with a Professional Business Fraternity

2006-10-14T20:55:27Z

Hey guys this is my first post here. I am a junior in college and am having a problem deciding what to do. Im currently pledging a professional business fraternity here on campus. Its coed as well. Well Ive recently been thinking alot about whether I want to really go through with it and join. The thing is that we have socials and things of that nature and I have attended two of these recently as a pledge. The problem is that I feel out of place at these things and dont really enjoy it. I like to party and have a good time but I prefer to do it with a small group of friends. Ive always been a loner type, I find time alone enjoyable and cant stay around friends for an extended period of time. Im strugglign with rather I should stay in this as Im fairly sure I wont really enjoy it for the most part, but then the other part of myself tells me I should do it for professional reasons and to meet people and have social experiences. Any insight?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 1 reply

111 active members.

2006-09-21T03:34:38Z

It would be more appropriate if it was

1......................................................................

.................................................................................1

..........................................................................................................................................................1,

don't you think?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 4 replies

hello

2006-08-28T14:46:17Z

hi everyone, i am new and just learning about this "tribe". i am a loner, and then some days i think i will go crazy if i don't have contact with someone. am i crazy?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 4 replies

A psychological test

2006-03-06T02:59:26Z

http://extremehonesty.tribe.net/thread/b46a3fde-6299-47ab-b19c-3f3c11b52862

Post your answers in this thread not the above thread. I want to compare answers from different tribes.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 5 replies

whats up with the tribe name?

2005-12-09T18:14:34Z

i never understood 'loners wihtout bodies'

what, because loners dont keep in shape and dont have a 'body'?

or i picture some ghost wandering

help, thanks

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 13 replies

Lunch Alone?

2005-10-28T14:12:18Z

Another thread here got into an interesting topic:

Do you enjoy taking your lunch alone, and getting away from the workplace, all by yourself?

Does it annoy others that you prefer to eat alone?

In my case it is yes to both. I have to get away at lunchtime. Usually with a good book. Why waste an hour listening to trite conversation, when you can share lunch with some of the greatest thinkers of all time? And these thinkers don't expect you to hold up your end of the conversation!

My employer, early in my employ, tried to get me interested in going to the power lunches with the movers and shakers of the company. He eventually gave up.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 15 replies

Mama's boy

2005-10-06T17:02:47Z

I know this is suppose to be "without bodies" but the tagline was too close to ignore a 'Loner with a Body'

A twice degreed English Literature professor in India just passed away & was buried with his mother who had remained embalmed in a glass casket in Her own room since 1985 so he could have her close to him.
Seems he was normal 'cept a loner & close to his mother<<<
enjoying seances in the evenings~~~~~~

http://news.bbc.co.uk/south_asia/43086.stm

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 5 replies

Clingy friends

2005-09-30T00:26:29Z

I've been a bit of a loner my whole life. When I was younger, I used to have to explain to my friends that I didn't always want to go out and play, but that that didn't mean that I didn't like them. I just needed time alone to clear my head.

Now, 15 years later, I find myself in that position again. I have a friend who understands how I am so well that she's able to explain my behavior to others...and yet she seems to think that the rules don't apply to her. She knows that I don't answer my phone but that I will call back as soon as I feel up to it, but she insists on calling me repeatedly and leaving increasingly frustrated messages on my answering machine. She knows that I prefer to make plans in advance rather than to be dropped in on without warning, but she still shows up at my door and expects me to accommodate her neediness. She takes my silence personally even though she's fully aware that I'm this way with everyone.

What do I do? I'm tired of it, and like I said, she understands that I am the way I am. She's just too selfish and dependent to put anyone else's needs first. I'm moving to another (local) city soon, partly to put some distance between us...and that, of course, is causing her to lay on all kinds of premature guilt trips about how hard it's going to be to ever see me again.

If anyone has any relevant experience or advice, please share! How have you been able to make your non-loner friends accept your preference/need for solitude? How did you deal with struggles like this?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 3 replies

New Loner On Board!`

2005-09-06T21:14:32Z

Hi, just found this tribe, and wanted to introduce myself. I think I've been a loner all my life, but lately, I struggle with it. Does anyone else feel inner struggle? I haven't yet found a groove in my loner self, and there are a few things I like to do...though sometimes when I think about these activities, I can't decide, and it feels like too much energy (it also has to be said that I live in a new city, far from family and old friends).

Name a favourite thing you like to do as a loner (the first thing that pops into your head!)?

Me: browsing bookstores. :)

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 6 replies

Simple Pleasantries

2005-07-22T16:52:13Z

A friend and I were talking about the ability to make friends easily. He definitely feels he can walk into a place, start conversing, and have a good time. Me? I walk into places and I observe. Hell, there are plenty of parties I've gone to where I didn't find anyone particularly interesting to talk to, and remained happily sitting at the end of the sofa by myself!

He pointed out, "Well, you were never one for simple pleasantries." Is this true, I reacted? Idle chit chat doesn't suit me, though it seems the glue to social bonding. Then my friend asked, "Why do you think you don't like chit chat?"

Good question, to which I'll throw it out to this tribe: do you like chitchat? do you think chitchat is socially important? if you don't like chitchat, why?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 6 replies

"Nats"

2005-07-15T11:39:27Z

You know who they are. They just can't seem to take a hint. Always buzzing around in your face until you just can't take it anymore. Smash! Now they are dead but you feel a bit guilty...

How do you deal with people like this??? I was at an outdoor gathering a few days ago where a gentleman introduced himself to me. Apparently I was the only person he "knew"(from Tribe) at the gathering. I came with friends, camped with friends, and had many friends around. Yet I prefer to fly solo keeping my conversations/interactions brief. I spend a lot of time sitting alone, wandering alone, or dancing alone on the dancefloor. This gentleman(let's call him Bob) kept coming around. First I was really open and polite to Bob. If I saw him in passing, I would make eye contact and nod Hello. This always prompted him to come up to me. After awhile I began to avoid him, yet if he saw me first he would come over.

I gave Bob many signals. I shifted my body away, gave no eye contact, responded only if prompted in conversation, wore sunglasses, looked the other way, etc... I had large blanket I was sitting on. I strategically placed my stuff on the blanket so that there was no room for anyone else. Yet Bob still found me on my blanket and moved my items so he could sit down and hang out. Can people really be that clueless???

I feel as though I spent the entire time avoiding Bob instead of relaxing having a good time. I should have politely smashed him from he beginning, but I was afraid of causing unwanted awkwardness or negative energy in my camping area. Did I mention that he asked if he could move his car and his stuff to camp with us?? How do you say no to that?

How do you guys deal with "nats" ??? As a loner, do you tend to attract them?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 12 replies

Are Loners always bookworms?

2005-07-14T20:55:17Z

Well, I for one am a definite bookworm.

I've enjoyed reading for as long as I can remember. In grade school I'd sit by myself at recess and lunch enjoying a good book. Some years it took a while to get everyone trained to leave me alone. But for the most part there was never anyone who gave me any trouble about it.

Just wondering though - is bookwormery always associated with lonerhood? Are there loners who don't like to read - perhaps instead do other solitary things like long distance running, bicycling, hobbies?

I'll bet this is the case, but I'd like to get some opinions.

-Thanks!

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 18 replies

shyness vs. introversion

2005-07-12T06:52:29Z

i also posted this in the painfully shy tribe.

the definitions...

introversion: an attitude in which a person directs his interest to his own experiences and feelings rather than upon external objects or other persons.

shyness: 1. easily frightened or startled; timid 2. not at ease with other people; extremely self-conscious; bashful 3. showing distrust or caution; wary

the question...

There are people comfortable with their introversion who are not necessarily shy. And there are folks who may be initially shy but quite extroverted. So would you consider yourself more shy or introverted, or a combination of both?

I was definitely shy as a child [frightened, timid, self-conscious]. I became less shy after college, but am introverted by nature and am comfortable one-on-one or in small groups -- not necessarily timid anymore. As an adult I'm more introverted than shy, and the introversion is misinterpreted -- as many have expressed -- as being *snobby.*

I have to admit that the ol' shyness comes out once in a while.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 14 replies

It's genetic!

2005-07-12T06:49:30Z

I am happiest when I am alone: with a good book or working on my hobbies, or just thinking.

I have a wife and 5 kids though, so I seldom get the time I need.

One interesting thing: while my oldest daughter is an active socialite (like her mom), the second oldest is a happy loner, just like me!

I'm still waiting for the other three to be old enough to tell. It's kind of become a Gregor-Mendel genetics experiment!

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 4 replies

loner book

2005-07-12T06:45:49Z

has anyone read 'party of one: a loner's manifesto'?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 14 replies

Non-loners on Retreat

2005-06-22T02:18:17Z

A few years ago, the spiritual director for the seminary that I'm attending told us of a retreat that he had been giving to some women. One woman had brought her sister from out-of-state to the retreat. The retreat was to last for three days, but, after just _one_ day, the woman's sister couldn't take the silence and demanded to return home (which was, again, out of state).

The point which our spiritual director was trying to make was that some people can not take silence, and that this is a problem, not something to be encouraged or to be seen as normal. One can not make any progress in the spiritual life (including getting fundamental natural virtues) without looking inside one's own thoughts. Doing _that_ requires some peace and quiet.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 4 replies

Does it not piss you off...

2005-06-20T01:32:30Z

...when well-meaning friends think there must be something wrong with you if you don't spend as much time as they do making meaningless small talk with people they don't really like in places that suck? I mean, I don't rag on them for being unable to entertain themselves, yes?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 12 replies

The Ultimate Loner

2005-06-04T18:37:21Z

I remember reading an article in the Boston Globe a few years back about this guy who worked as an itinerant carpenter. He used his skills to build a room for himself under the ground. He filled it with books and would would retire there after he finished work and had a few beers. One day, the grass and dirt covered entrance flap (he took care to make it blend in and keep it a secret) was somehow askew and was discovered by a local man.
He immediately abandoned this hole of his (it was in Martha's Vineyard I believe) and moved to an undisclosed area of the country. He told the journalist he had several such holes all over the U.S. where he could move to at a whim.

Do any of you have stories of loners who went to extremes for the sake of privacy?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 7 replies

Hello Loners!

2005-06-02T03:15:04Z

Cool, a tribe of wolves for my very own! "Mommy, may I please take them all home with me? Absolutely not, they've probably got rabies or some other Gawd-awful disease!"

Heh heh, one thing I gotta love here is the irony of an exclusive club for folks that run like gerbils in a firestorm at the idea of joining anything. Contradiction in terms, eh? Love that with a passion. I'm in, pass me that last spoon of pickled roe of sturgeon (caviar, naives). I'll wash it down with my glass of Champipple, era 2005.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 1 reply

Hi Diddly Hi

2005-05-28T08:05:08Z

Just saying hello--I'm a loner, but get this, I'm married to a loner, a match made in whatever ficticious place you believe your immortal soul goes to when you die--or not.

We are the only two people we can stand--we tried the bowling league with other couples--but kept being annoyed by people and their petty little problems, gripes, and percieved slights. The constant bitching that my job doesn't pay enough, that guy or girl from work is out to get me--the rent is late and on and on and on...

Now we've found a home.... awwwwww

Hey lets say if we made friends here that we both like but they are loners would we have to leave the tribe because we aren't loners anymore since we've found other loners we like what if everyone here became really good friends and decided to get together for a huge party would the group self distruct? What if we had a party that we planned and no one showed up because we're loners and partying with loners--well see where this is going....no wonder we're loners

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 2 replies

Just wondering...

2005-05-28T08:00:48Z

How many of you fellow loners were also raised as only children??? I think there may be a connection there. Even as a child, I would get sick of my friends if they stayed for too long because I enjoyed playing all by myself. This still holds true for me today.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 6 replies

Traveloners

2005-05-28T07:58:32Z

I'm new to this tribe - and so glad I found it... I had a big argument with a friend about my vacation plans... to drive 15 hours north - then board a train - get off in a little town near way up north, stay overnight then come back down to civilization... Too dangerous??

I love to travel alone, I always feel exhausted and need a vacation after traveling with a friend, I don't know what makes it so exhausting?? But I don't feel that way when I'm alone...

Just wondering what your best solo-adventures have been?? So far my best one was getting off a plane in Vancouver, BC and driving.. to Banff, to Jasper, south to the American border back to Vancouver, out to Vancouver Island, logging roads gallore!!! There was no wasting time in cafes or restaurants, I could just go where I wanted... Actually got to dip in 2 different Hotsprings...

:) Jul

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 3 replies

Weird Confessions

2005-05-20T22:05:14Z

When people figure out I'm a loner, they tend to unload their stuff on me. Often they'll just blurt these things out, apropos of nothing. One co-worker copped to wetting his bed until age 13. Another admitted he hated the way his life turned out and wouldn't mind dying tomorrow. Does this strike a chord with anyone else?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 16 replies

Spring

2005-05-11T21:42:31Z

Is it harder for you to be alone, doing alone,
when the Spring juices flow....
Or is it easier bcz there is so much to be occupied with & enjoy???

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 4 replies

hi

2005-03-06T20:55:02Z

I feel like a loner sometime. :-(

My name's Chris.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 9 replies

Inbetween Holidays

2004-12-31T17:33:52Z

Thank God I spent the Xmas holiday alone. That's exactly the way I wanted to spend it. After years and years of getting pulled in directions that I didn't want, whether it was with someone or not, this year I finally manifested spending it by myself. I loved eating alone and I loved going to the movies alone. Never have I felt more liberated. I do look forward to spending my New Year's with a couple very close friends. The contentment of being able to be alone as I see fit is the most liberating and wonderful feeling I've ever had in my entire life. No one chattering in my ear or tugging at my pockets.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 1 reply

Note from Tribe.net: please assign a moderator

2004-12-22T03:00:51Z

Hey there, "Loners Without Bodies" members--

This Tribe doesn't have a moderator, but as a matter of policy, Tribe.net likes all groups to have a leader.
Could you collectively choose someone to moderate your Tribe?

When you've reached consensus, have the new moderator send a note to help@tribe.net, letting us know that you've selected a new leader.

Thanks,
-- TOU (Terms of Use) Guy

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 0 replies

Seeing the Divine in others

2004-09-23T16:28:14Z

I had dinner a few weeks ago with a dear friend. A very spritually elightened fellow. A spiritual teacher actually.
I was telling him about my contentment w/ being alone, my desert vision quests, and my art. I also bemoaned the creative "roadblock" that I have been going through lately, despite all these really major experiences & revelations I have had in the desert.
One thing he said, which struck a deep chord, was, the single most important reason people come together is that it takes another person to show you the divine (God) within yourself. They see "it" in you, you in turn see "it" in them. We are all mirrors so to speak. The idea being one cannot "see" oneself. The snake cannot see it's tail.
Well, I really gave that some thought. Here I was thinking I was all just peachy, self sufficient, content, blah blah blah, and yet, my art is suffering. My art is an extremely major part of my life, it is my voice.
So here's the thing. I paint, but also do photography. I love photography. I also do self portraits almost exclusivley. I feel I can look at a photograph, and make some determinations as to the quality, I'm experienced and educated about it, so I think I know when something is "good", at the very least technically.
Anyway, I cannot look at my own photographs and make critical decisions about them. I couldn't figure this out. I realized DUH, I'm looking at myself, but I cannot "see" myself. I see flaws, scars, wrinkles, bad posture, whatever, but no essence.
So after realizing that, I applied the same to my general feelings about myself. Ever so easy for me to see every flaw, but to see any redeeming quality...way different story. Yet, other people will say they like my work, or compliment me in some way, and I become motivated. Someone acknowledges the "divine" in me....
One of the last things my friend asked me was, "Ok, you have this gift, and you have these stories. These are things you on some level "asked" for. You now have to give something back, or all these gifts and experiences will rot and become corrupt"
So knowing this, which seems logical, I now have this question wriggling around in the back of my mind. How healthy, emotionally, even physically, is it for me to be alone? How can I see the "divine" if I live in this semi-vacuum? What is this doing to my "voice"? No one is hearing me.
I think about how difficult it is for me to touch, and be touched. That is a BASIC human need, it should not be difficult, at all.
I guess I feel I am atrophying (sp) but am so caught up with my pride of independence, that I not aware that I am "Eating my own tail"
So, does any of this make sense to anyone? Any thoughts?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 4 replies

HELP - Getting sqeezed

2004-09-22T20:54:03Z

I recently met a male person that is, 1 about my age, 2 healthy, 3 creative/artistic, 4 kind/genorous, 5 doesn't drink/smoke etc. Lotsa good points. But I think he's lonely.... Or horny... probably both.
And when he asked if he could call me I said yes but that I was intensely busy. When can I call you? I'll be very busy the next 10 days. So I'll call about 8 tonight. & tomorrow.
How do you communicate to some one that You like being alone & don't need to talk 3x a day to anyone but your dog (he replied "oh I love dogs")without screaming at them??
Are women expected, more than men, to be on the prowl for a 'parner' if they are single? How do you express that you have a full life? & being friendly is an invitation only to be friendly not life mates. I'm a human not a magnet....

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 6 replies

Stable Loners

2004-09-22T15:38:01Z

the media gives loners a bad rap. i'm tired of the ol', "He was a nice kid, always paid his rent on time; I just never would've expected he had 1500 mutilated babies in his stereo cabinet. But you know, he _was_ always by himself. He NEVER, EVER had friends over."

{rolls eyes.}

so, i like to proselytize, whenever i can, about my stable lonerism.

m

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 12 replies

Loners WITH Bodies

2004-09-04T20:40:30Z

Ah c'mon. What's so wrong with having a few bodies buried beneath your floorboards. You know you wanna try it. Who cares what the 'normals' will think?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 2 replies

Loner Luv

2004-09-01T17:01:05Z

Can two loners get together? Not unlike the mating behaviour of the savage mountain lion? Or are we all doomed to never getting any with any regularity?

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 12 replies

Is it the same for some

2004-08-05T22:55:20Z

Is it true for some, that when you start spending time hanging out with people after being a loner for a long period of time, or most of your life. Does one seem to be not as "fun" to hang out with than others? Unless it's just me.

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 10 replies

Hello & a very brief intro.....

2004-03-29T23:05:03Z

I don't usually make any posts on any of the tribes but I wanted to say thank you Lulu for creating this tribe. Thank you to the rest of you for sharing in your posts. The posts are intelligent and to me very relevant. Although I am not shy, when not with my boyfriend my time is usually spent alone. I like being with my friends but it is usually a once in a while sort of thing. My friends are A LOT more social than I am. When we are out I have no problem joining in on the fun(when I feel like it) or can be just as happy watching the mayhem from afar.
I look forward to reading more of what everyone has to share here.
Love and Light to you all. ~L~

posted in Loners Without Bodies - 0 replies