I don't know if anyone else here has experienced what I mean when I say that I can forget how wonderful it can be to be alone if I'm around others for a lot of the time... I bet someone can identify though. Right now, I'm living in a homeless shelter with about 250 other guys in it, and it is always very crowded there. I try to get away from my roomate there, so I go outside, and frequently I'll socialize with people on the smoke-deck. When I get away from everybody though (say to go and get money from an automatic teller, or to get a book from the library) I often come to be at a great peace with life, and become ACUTELY aware of how much happier I can be alone. (Please don't think that this is just because the people at the shelter are not great company... Most of the guys there work, and are actually fairly intelligent... Don't get me wrong, I even "enjoy" talking with them sometimes. However, when I get to be alone, I often feel happier). I also, after getting away from people, almost always hate either the person I was when I was in their presence or else the way that I was not very sincere or soulful around them..,. not sure which of those it is. I can get really chipper around others, and I wonder how much of that is "the real me", because I feel so much more "myself" when I'm alone. I don't think, however, that I TRY to put on a face for others, although I will admit that I am very careful, at least, about not stepping on peoples toes (you know, upsetting them). Can anyone identify with either/both forgetting how great it can be to be alone when they are around others for a LOT of time, or feeling that they somehow aren't completely "themselves" around others, even if this is just because your a nice person whose considerate of others feelings? I don't know, for myself, WHY I feel like I am not completely myself around others, but that may be a part of it for me.