The way I see it, there are loners "with issues" and loners "without issues." 8-10 years ago, people without Internet access thought of the web as populated by a bunch of "pervs and psychos." Point? The 10 pervs and psychos made the news; nobody cared about the million other web users who peacefully went about their day. But because only 1% of people were online, the other 99% based their ideas on the news. Hence "Internet = pervs & psychos." Of course, now the web is mass market, so it no longer applies.

For loners, the few dozen psychos "with issues" make the news. Since the predominant societal paradigm is "bright outgoing happy shiny people" most people haven't EXPERIENCED being a loner, so they automatically conclude "Loner = John Hinckley, or the shooters at Columbine." Or insert name of loner psychopath of your choice.

Of course, that's just a theory.....

Simple.

Folks really don't take, or sometimes even like things that they are unable to identify with/understand.

Going to a movie alone, or spending a Friday night reading a good book, or a weeklong vacation is unfathomable to most folks. That we do not require any validation in our social activities, that we are *already* comfy in what we do.

Examples: how many "loners" here really put much thought in to personal appearance outside of a professional capacity?
How many "loners" here have goals set out for them that they never had any desire to achieve?
How many "loners" here have felt a true sense of loss from any form of rejection?

Thing is, we's be some happy folks, and are "just that way". We don't protect/sheild ourselves in the fluffy backpatting that a "friend" is. Again, we are typically happy. And with little effort. Comes naturally y'see.

Does y'alls see what I was gettin' at?

Guess I've read a bit too much in to the topic.
This weeks homework - _Solitude_ by Tony Storr

That would cover the odd. I'm threatening because of my sheer brilliance and dashing good looks :)

Fun Fact #1 Freud called "loners" neurotic, immature, or in some other way abnormal

Because their a witness to something that the larger part of them can't handle.IndependanceRok on Lulu.rik..

I believe that the book "Party of One" explains this rather well. In short, the media likes to hype psychos and certain criminals as loners because it allows them to pin the behavior on a defineable trait. However, many of the people touted as loners are far from being so; thus the common man gets a distorted view of what loners are like.

In addition to this, I'm sure that most loners have experienced people who are completely dumbfounded by our need to be alone. They've likely never experienced such a feeling. Usually they equate being alone with sadness because they themselves only seek solitude when depressed. This causes many to view loners as those who are constantly depressed and thus more likely to "snap" and do something crazy.

The unknown? The media has brainwashed people into not liking people who don't look, act, talk, walk like them. People like followers and fellow sheep?


I think Collard made some really good points.

Loners aren't the common denominator?
We are viewed as having the ability to think for ourselves but the average secretly is in awe & outwardly irritated.

They feel threatened because I don't fit their paradigm. How dare I look at things in a whole different light! How dare I strive for authenticity in my life (instead of "playing the Game")!

I think loners force non-loners to reevaluate their own long-held suppositions about life. Loners often seem pretty content and good-natured all on their own. Which, I think, makes the panderers, ass-kissers, and false cheer-espousers think that they may've been wasting their time all along (in trying to mold themselves to other's expectations). These feelings can provoke jealousy and violent opposition in the non-loner.

Also, I've also felt that the non-loners I've grown up with secrectly admire me in some of my lonerish, non-conforming ways; though some would be loathe to admit it.

It occurs to me that on a primal level most of what compels anybody to do anything is fear or pleasure.

Maybe non-loners find us threatening because we embrace and enjoy (ie find pleasure in) being alone, while they are deeply afraid to be alone. We do the thing that scares them, and we like it. Therefore we are scary people.

I am a loner by choice. I was once a person surrounded by a sea of friends. Socializing was top priority on my list. Something tragic happened during my time in the military & this forever changed who I am. Now back in the civilian world, I've been withdrawn from people eversince. Only communicating as and when necessary. Even at work, I barely spend time talking to my colleagues & I only say what I need to say. Does this make me a weirdo? or psycho?

One of the big reasons for people feeling threatened by loners, I think, is that it suggests to them that somehow they are uninteresting. If I'm outside smoking a cigarette, for instance, and someone keeps trying to connect to me and I just kind of ignore that person, they get the hint that I am not interested in them (at least not at that time). For some people, this even implies that the loner also might have "bigger and better", or more Important things on their minds than than they themselves can offer them. I know that my best friend, who is even more of a loner than me perhaps, used to only ignore me when he was doing something that was honestly more important for him than I should have been at the time. If I was someone who wasn't sympathetic to certain lonerist causes I would have perhaps become upset at him for this... However, I myself even appreciate a person more usually when most of their time is spent doing something that should be more important to them than I should be.... It suggests that they have an independent purpose, and if everyone just lived for "everybody else", who would anyone be?... Without any of the individuals having an independent purpose, there would be noone who had anything worth assisting anyway...Nobody would care about themselves in the deepest sense, and hence they would not care to be looked out for by others...not really.

I think it is because we fall outside their expectations of what is considered "normal". As outsiders, we didn't "go down to the maltshop after the big game" because the "big game" was unimportant. If 99% of any population considers "the big game" (or any other activity) as important, then we, as the other 1% are thought of as wrong, rather than having different opinions.

I hate baseball. I don't care that others like it, that is their right. I just don't like being treated like a traitor because I don't like what so many others do. I'm not wrong. I simply have a different opinion.

Loners make others uncomfortable because we are unafraid of our own intelligence. We have the ability to judge an activity, a religion, a scholastic program etc. on its merits, not because everyone else likes it. This makes most shake in their boots.

Many wish they could make the type of decisions made by loners; decisions based on intellect, not hormones.

Whatever.....

Chris,

Who is very happy the sun is out today.

Ya. The news screws up people really bad sometimes...

Ya, I mean, I can only last a short time around people, and then I'm like wanting to go and be by myself for a little bit... And I'm thinking, "How do people do it?"
Cuz I've sort of been raised to think that I'm sort of adnormal sort of thing I guess...
And another thong, 3 freaken times, I have had people calling me gay and stuff (Not to my face, but...) Just believe I like to talk to the. I mean, waht the heck! I though you wre SUPOST to talk to people...
And like, Being alone as a punishment? Who on this board doesn't laugh at that? I don't understand why people hate to be alone so much, people treat it as a punishment? (How rude!) Ahh, The "normal" human mind...

Ya, as suzanne said, "They think it's like a crime to be alone." Ya... Like anything people don't see as normal, then it MUST be linked with a crime of some sort...
Evol: Ya, exactly, you need to rechange. That's why I can only stay around people for a few hours, and then I have to go alone for a while, so that I can like, get out of the shock of hacing people around, you know? And then if I feel up to it, I come back...

Also, because of the bad media, and how people look at people who are alone, they think that just because they are sitting alone or whatever, they don't want anyone to talk to them. I sometimes can't figure this ut. I mean, I'm a very nice person if you get to know me, but I'm alone...

Gi gi - "We are viewed as having the ability to think for ourselves but the average secretly is in awe & outwardly irritated."
Ya, it's like, "We want to be in a group, but yet, We want to be different." You can't really have both...

Ya, "playing the game" I don't want too, but the world says, "You must! You MUDT be like that, you MUST do this! And it's retarted!!!
Ya Drube. It's like, "If you have another view point, that automaticly makes you WRONG!!"... People have such tunnel vision...

BlackLoner